IU's phone problems, A&M's choke, Tenn-Memphis nears

Indiana fans may want Kelvin Sampson to stay in Bloomington, but school adminstrators may feel differently. David E. Klutho/SI

By Ty Hildenbrandt

Wouldn't it be something if we could introduce the wise guy that coined "It's not cheating unless you get caught" to Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson? Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation? And would the poor guy's head explode before or after he clubbed Sampson with a tack hammer? These are the things that keep me up at night.

We live in an era when everyone's cheat-meter is in overdrive -- when bench pressing your weight is only legit if cleared by a urine test. So it's utterly appalling that crooks like Sampson aren't trying a little harder. Doing things the "right way" and having integrity would be added bonuses, but I'm talking in much simpler terms.

With suspicions already racing ... man, just try a little freaking harder NOT to get caught. OK?

I'm sure, as a fan, I'm supposed to be outraged and deeply scarred by Sampson's "improper" phone calls to recruits. I'm sure I'm supposed to have some kind of opinion on whether he should keep his job or not. But I don't. Instead, I can't help but laugh at the guy, and I'm preoccupied figuring out if they should let him keep his brain.

Here's a man who got caught in the same cookie jar while at Oklahoma and STILL got a second chance with one of the most prestigious basketball programs in college athletics -- you'd think he'd focus his efforts elsewhere. And that's what doesn't make sense to me. Why would any rational human making millions of dollars go back to the scene of the crime when he KNEW he was being watched? Why tempt fate? Was this a double-dog dare? Some kind of immunity challenge? Was he being blackmailed by Nina Myers or the chick from Prison Break? Just what, exactly, explains his terrible lapse in judgment?Quite honestly, it's not Sampson's cheating that should offend us. It's his timing.

THE LAST SIGNIFICANT DUEL BETWEEN MEMPHIS AND KNOXVILLE PROBABLY INVOLVED A BANJO

With Duke's loss to Wake Forest, the pollsters took full advantage of their power and elevated Tennessee to No. 2 in the nation, setting up a clash of titans this Saturday as the Volunteers travel to Memphis to square off against the top-rated Tigers. And just like the bimbo in your office pool who picks winners based on uniforms and mascot names, I'm using little or no logic and going with the Volunteers in an upset.

As I said a few weeks ago, you can still be the best team in the country even with a brittle schedule; however, that was before Memphis's recent struggles against Houston and UAB. It's fine to have unranked opponents on your schedule ... as long as you pound them into oblivion, which the Tigers haven't exactly done lately. So, it seems easier now than ever to brand Memphis as an "untested" team; and with the streaking Vols coming to town, now is the perfect time to make a quiet escape from the undefeated bandwagon.