Leave Bill Self alone, Nantz is losing it, Roy can't dress

By Ty Hildenbrandt

It's a crying shame that CBS Sports ran out of time and couldn't follow its rendition of One Shining Moment with the Rockapella's re-mastered version of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Can anyone blame Bill Self if he leaves Kansas for a hefty pay increase and the chance to return to his alma mater? AP

Well, he sneaks around the courts from Champaign to Oral Roberts,
He's a slippery coaching cowboy from Tulsa up to Lawrence.
He'll take you for a ride to San Antonio with Kansas. But tell me ...
Where in the world is Bill Self gonna go next?

Maybe next year.

Nonetheless, we're still picking on Bill Self, if only because the last two national championship games have been played amid heavy speculation that a participating coach -- last year, Billy Donovan; this year, Self -- would bolt for another job as soon as the season ended. To a certain extent, we've grown to enjoy these kinds of controversies. You know, because calling coaches traitors and snakes has become as much a part of the American lexicon as baseball and apple pie. So, whether Self deserves the criticism or not -- and he probably doesn't -- he's next in line to explain just how loud money can talk when hungry athletic directors prompt it to do so.

Self's situation, though, is anything but the traditional song and dance. In nearly all instances, coaches are lured from their comfort zones to "better" jobs by the prestige of top-shelf programs. In fact, this was the exact reason rumors swirled about Donovan leaving for Kentucky, and actually, why Self migrated from Illinois to Kansas in the first place. Usually, coaches take steps "up" to get more money, not the other way around.

And that's why this is different. Leaving Kansas for Oklahoma State would be a clear challenge to conventional wisdom. In essence, Self would be taking a step "down" to a "lesser" program, but still get a hefty raise thanks to the deep pockets of T. Boone Pickens. It'd be an odd paradox of sports: a coach accepting a job for MORE money and LOWER expectations. That's one hell of a deal. (Where does Isiah Thomas sign up?)

Of course, you can't fault Self for being a successful coach, nor can you blame him if he's mildly interested in a steep pay hike. (Yeah, like you'd scoff at 3.5 million bones per year.) That's certainly his prerogative, and nobody should hold it against the guy if decides to cash in. But you also can't blame us, the general fandom, for poking fun at the looming situation, knowing full well that more pay with fewer expectations is every working man's American dream.

Without a doubt, this figures to be a news story for weeks to come. In a pure battle between loyalty and prosperity, which do you think will win? I think I know the answer. Though sentimentality factors in when alma maters are involved, this will ultimately come down to a monetary decision. You don't honestly think he'd leave Kansas for less money, do you?

And if he does decide to go, perhaps the last verse to Rockapella's re-written song will actually be true:

He goes from Okie to Lawrence to Okie to Oral [Roberts],
From Tulsa, to Champaign, to Lawrence and back!

IT'S OFFICIAL: JIM NANTZ HAS LOST A STEP

After we all waited with bated breath and offered predictions on the 2008 national championship "Nantz-ism," it was nothing short of disappointing to hear Jim Nantz deliver an absolute stinker:

"Rock Chalk, championship!"

Congrats, indeed, to Kansas. But, uh, Jim? We just watched six straight months of college basketball and that was the best you could do? I get the reference, but could you have humored us with a "Believe in your Self" or something remotely close to your 2005 zinger of "It began in March, ended in April, and belongs to May"? On the heels of last year's "Back to back and unforgettable," Nantz may be one more clunker away from reaching a dreaded point of no return, like that episode of Walker, Texas Ranger when Haley Joel Osment announced he had AIDS.